I'm truly sorry to hear about the loss of your mother and the difficult emotions you're going through. Dealing with grief and guilt can be overwhelming, but it's essential to remember that you are not alone in these feelings. Here are some suggestions that may help you cope with your grief and guilt:
Allow yourself to grieve: Grieving is a natural and necessary process after losing a loved one. It's okay to feel sad, angry, or guilty. Give yourself permission to experience these emotions without judgment.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a support group to talk about your feelings. Sometimes sharing your emotions with others who have experienced similar losses can be very comforting.
Consider therapy or counseling: Speaking with a mental health professional can provide you with a safe space to process your emotions and work through your feelings of guilt.
Practice self-compassion: Understand that mistakes happen, and you are only human. Be gentle with yourself and avoid being overly critical or blaming yourself for things that may have been beyond your control.
Focus on the positive memories: Celebrate the time you had with your mother and cherish the memories you shared together.
Create a tribute: Consider creating a memorial or tribute for your mother, such as planting a tree, making a scrapbook, or engaging in activities that were meaningful to her.
Forgive yourself: While it's natural to feel guilty, remember that everyone makes mistakes, and no one is perfect. Try to forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings or mistakes you may feel responsible for.
Let go of blame: It's not productive to dwell on the actions or negligence of others, including your brother or the doctor. While these may have been contributing factors, holding onto blame won't bring your mother back or alleviate your guilt.
Take care of yourself: During times of grief, it's crucial to take care of your physical and emotional well-being. Ensure you get enough rest, eat well, and engage in activities that bring you comfort and peace.
Honor your mother's memory: Consider honoring your mother's memory by carrying forward the values and lessons she imparted to you. This can be a meaningful way to keep her spirit alive.
Remember that healing takes time, and there is no specific timeline for grieving. Be patient with yourself and seek help if you find it difficult to cope with your emotions on your own. Professional counselors or therapists can provide valuable support during this challenging time.