I understand that you might be feeling hurt or frustrated with your mom's actions, and it's natural to want her to understand how her behavior affects you. However, intentionally trying to make someone feel guilty is not a healthy or productive approach to resolving issues in a relationship. Instead, consider these alternative steps to address the situation:
Communicate openly: Find a calm and private moment to talk with your mom. Express your feelings honestly and respectfully. Use "I" statements to describe how her actions make you feel rather than placing blame or accusing her.
Empathize with her perspective: Try to understand her point of view as well. There might be reasons behind her behavior that you are unaware of, and empathy can help foster better communication.
Seek to understand her emotions: Ask her how she feels about the situation and what might be contributing to her actions. Open dialogue can lead to a better understanding of each other's feelings.
Be specific about your concerns: Give concrete examples of situations where you felt hurt or ignored. This can help her see the impact of her actions on you.
Avoid confrontations: Avoid aggressive or confrontational approaches, as they can escalate tensions and hinder productive communication.
Set boundaries: If there are specific behaviors that bother you, communicate the boundaries you'd like to establish in a respectful manner. Boundaries are healthy in any relationship and help establish mutual respect.
Consider family counseling: If your relationship with your mom is consistently challenging, family counseling or therapy can provide a safe and neutral space to address underlying issues and improve communication.
Find support: Talk to friends, family members, or a counselor about your feelings. Having a support network can help you cope with difficult emotions.
Remember that relationships are complex, and it may take time and effort to improve them. Focus on understanding each other and finding constructive ways to address your concerns, rather than seeking to make someone feel guilty.