Feeling guilty in such a situation is quite common, and it can stem from a few different reasons:
Loyalty to your friend: You may feel guilty because you have a sense of loyalty to your friend and don't want to hurt or upset them by getting involved with their ex-partner. Even if it has been many years since they were together, emotions can still be sensitive around past relationships.
Fear of judgment: You might be concerned about how your other friends or social circle will perceive your actions. Sometimes, societal norms and expectations can make us feel guilty about actions that others might not approve of.
Ethics and values: You might be questioning whether it's morally right to get involved with someone who has a history of cheating on their partners. You might wonder if this reflects on your own values and standards.
Potential consequences: You could be worried about potential consequences, such as drama, conflict, or the impact on your friendship with the person whose ex you are now seeing.
Empathy: You might have empathy for the ex-partner and her past boyfriends who have been hurt by her actions. This could make you feel uneasy about your involvement with her.
In such situations, it's important to reflect on your feelings and consider the possible outcomes of your actions. Here are some steps to help you navigate this situation:
Self-reflection: Take some time to understand your feelings and motivations for getting involved with your friend's ex. Be honest with yourself about your emotions and the potential consequences of your actions.
Consider your friend's feelings: Put yourself in your friend's shoes and try to understand how they might react if they were to find out. If you think it might hurt or upset them, consider if it's worth pursuing a relationship with the ex.
Communication: If you feel that this relationship has the potential to become more serious, consider having an open and honest conversation with your friend about the situation. Communication is essential in maintaining trust and resolving any concerns.
Evaluate the relationship: Take a critical look at the relationship you have with the person who was your friend's ex. Consider if it is healthy and if you share similar values and expectations for the relationship.
Be prepared for consequences: If you decide to continue the relationship, be prepared for potential reactions from friends and acquaintances. Stand by your decision if you genuinely believe it's the right thing for you, but also be mindful of others' feelings.
Ultimately, only you can decide what feels right and ethical for you. It's essential to be honest with yourself and consider the potential impact of your actions on your friendships and personal values. If you're still unsure, seeking advice from someone you trust or a professional counselor might help you gain further clarity.