Feeling guilty about your wishes and desires in front of a narcissist is a common response due to the nature of the dynamic between a narcissist and those around them. Narcissists tend to have certain traits and behaviors that can create an environment where others feel guilty or ashamed about their own needs and desires. Here are some reasons why this may happen:
Manipulation and Gaslighting: Narcissists are skilled manipulators who may use tactics like gaslighting to make you doubt yourself and your feelings. They may make you feel selfish or unreasonable for wanting something different from what they want.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often lack empathy and have difficulty understanding or acknowledging other people's feelings and needs. They may dismiss or belittle your wishes, making you doubt their validity.
Emotional Manipulation: Narcissists can be emotionally controlling, making you feel responsible for their happiness or well-being. This can lead to feelings of guilt when your desires don't align with what they want.
Fear of Rejection or Punishment: Narcissists may react negatively or punish you emotionally when your desires don't align with theirs. As a result, you may feel guilty about expressing your needs to avoid potential consequences.
Low Self-Esteem: Being in a relationship with a narcissist can lead to lower self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness. You may feel like your desires are not as important as theirs, contributing to feelings of guilt.
Seeking Approval: Narcissists often seek admiration and adoration. You may feel guilty about your wishes because you fear that the narcissist will disapprove or reject you if you don't comply with their wishes.
Emotional Dependence: If you are emotionally dependent on the narcissist or have been conditioned to seek their validation, you may feel guilty about asserting your own wishes.
It's essential to recognize these dynamics and understand that feeling guilty about your legitimate wishes is not your fault. Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, and their behavior can have a significant impact on your emotional well-being. If possible, seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can help you navigate these difficult emotions and develop healthy coping strategies.