It's understandable to feel guilty or conflicted about your beliefs, especially if you were raised with a particular faith or belief system. It's important to remember that having anxiety or doubts about faith is a common struggle for many people, and you are not alone in feeling this way.
Here are some suggestions that may help you navigate your feelings of guilt and fear:
Acceptance and self-compassion: Recognize that it's okay to have doubts and struggles with faith. Accepting yourself as you are, with all your thoughts and emotions, can help alleviate some of the guilt you might be feeling. Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion, understanding that everyone goes through periods of doubt and uncertainty.
Talk about your feelings: Share your feelings of guilt and fear with someone you trust, such as your psychologist, counselor, or a close friend. Talking about your emotions can provide relief and perspective. Sometimes, simply verbalizing your feelings can help you process them better.
Explore your beliefs: Take some time to explore your beliefs and spirituality on your own terms. Reflect on what aspects of your faith resonate with you and what causes doubt. Engage in discussions or readings that delve into philosophical or spiritual topics. This exploration can help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself and your beliefs.
Connect with a supportive community: If you feel comfortable, consider connecting with others who may have similar struggles or questions about faith. Participating in a supportive community can help you feel less alone and provide opportunities for open discussions about faith and spirituality.
Seek guidance from a spiritual mentor: If you are open to it, consider seeking guidance from a spiritual mentor, such as a religious leader or counselor experienced in matters of faith. They can offer insights and support while respecting your unique journey.
Mindfulness and grounding techniques: Incorporate mindfulness and grounding practices into your daily routine. These techniques can help you stay present in the moment, reduce anxiety, and bring a sense of calmness.
Continue counseling: Since you mention that you're starting counseling again soon, maintaining this support is crucial. Your counselor can help you work through your feelings of guilt and fear and provide coping strategies tailored to your specific challenges.
Medication management: If you're on medication (Buspar), ensure you are regularly discussing your progress with your prescribing doctor. They can help adjust the dosage or explore alternative options if needed.
Remember, it's essential to be patient with yourself during this process. Addressing deep-seated feelings of guilt and fear takes time and self-compassion. It's also important to recognize that faith is a personal journey, and it's okay to have questions and uncertainties along the way. Embrace the support available to you and trust in the healing process.