I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling this way. It's not uncommon for individuals to have different social experiences and preferences throughout their lives. There could be various reasons why you feel like you haven't had a close-knit group of friends:
Introversion vs. Extroversion: People have different personality traits, and some individuals are naturally more introverted, preferring smaller social circles and meaningful one-on-one connections rather than large groups.
Life Circumstances: Life circumstances, such as moving to new places, changing schools, or jobs, can disrupt the continuity of friendships and make it challenging to form close bonds.
Time and Priorities: As we grow older, we often have more responsibilities, such as work, family, or personal goals, which can leave less time for socializing and forming deep friendships.
Social Anxiety or Shyness: Social anxiety or shyness can make it harder to initiate and maintain friendships, leading to a preference for fewer but less intense social interactions.
Friendship Changes: Friendships can change over time due to personal growth, differing interests, or changing life circumstances, which may lead to a smaller social circle.
Comparison and Expectations: Comparing yourself to others and expecting your social life to match societal norms can lead to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment.
Difficulty in Nurturing Friendships: Building and maintaining strong friendships require effort, communication, and shared interests. If you find it challenging to nurture these relationships, it might impact the depth of your friendships.
Remember that the number of friends you have doesn't define your worth or value as a person. Quality over quantity is often more important when it comes to friendships. Having a few close and supportive friends can be incredibly meaningful and fulfilling.
If you desire to form deeper connections with others, consider taking small steps to expand your social circle:
Pursue Shared Interests: Engage in activities or hobbies that genuinely interest you. This can be a great way to meet like-minded people.
Be Open to New Experiences: Be open to new social experiences and events where you can meet different people.
Initiate Conversations: Don't hesitate to initiate conversations with others. A simple "hello" or a compliment can be a good starting point.
Volunteer or Join Groups: Participate in volunteering or community groups, where you can meet people who share similar values and passions.
Seek Support: If you're struggling with feelings of loneliness or low self-esteem, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you explore these emotions and provide coping strategies.
It's essential to be patient with yourself and remember that forming deep friendships takes time and effort. Value the connections you do have and focus on fostering those relationships. Ultimately, the key is to find genuine and authentic connections that bring positivity and meaning to your life, regardless of the number of friends you have.