Feeling awkward or uncomfortable when encountering someone with whom you no longer have a positive relationship, especially if they have done you wrong, is a natural response. It's important to recognize that your feelings are valid, and there are psychological reasons behind these emotions:
Emotional Residue: When someone has hurt or wronged you in the past, it can leave emotional residue. The memories of the negative experiences or feelings can resurface when you see that person again, leading to feelings of discomfort.
Conflict Avoidance: Humans are generally wired to avoid conflict and negative interactions. Seeing someone who has caused you pain may activate a sense of vulnerability or fear of potential conflict, which can lead to feelings of awkwardness.
Social Expectations: In social situations, there are often unwritten rules about how to interact with others, including those we no longer have positive relationships with. This societal pressure can add to the awkwardness you feel.
Lack of Closure: If the friendship or relationship ended abruptly or without proper closure, you may still have unresolved feelings or questions, making it challenging to face that person confidently.
Self-Doubt or Self-Blame: In some cases, feeling awkward might be a result of self-doubt or self-blame. You may wonder if you could have done something differently to prevent the fallout or if it was your fault.
Empathy and Compassion: Paradoxically, you might also feel empathetic or compassionate toward the other person, even if they wronged you. This can create a conflict of emotions, leading to awkwardness.
To cope with these feelings and handle encounters with someone who did you wrong more confidently, consider the following steps:
Accept Your Emotions: Recognize that it's normal to feel awkward in such situations. Give yourself permission to experience these emotions without judgment.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and remember that you are not defined by the actions of others. Remind yourself that you deserve respect and care.
Set Boundaries: If you must interact with the person, establish clear boundaries for yourself to protect your well-being. You can choose not to engage in conversations about the past or to limit your interactions.
Focus on Personal Growth: Shift your focus from the past to personal growth and positive experiences. Concentrate on building and maintaining healthy relationships with others.
Seek Closure (If Appropriate): If you feel it might be helpful, consider seeking closure by expressing your feelings to the person involved. This could be in the form of a conversation or even a letter.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Strengthen your support network by spending time with friends and family who uplift and support you.
Consider Professional Support: If the emotions from past experiences are overwhelming and affecting your well-being, seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial.
Remember, healing from past hurts takes time, and it's okay to work through your emotions gradually. Being patient and kind to yourself during this process will help you regain your confidence and move forward.