It's understandable that you find your husband's behavior upsetting. Communication is a vital aspect of any relationship, and it's essential to address your feelings in a constructive way. Here are some steps you can take to address this issue:
Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a calm and private moment to discuss your feelings with your husband. Avoid discussing sensitive topics in front of others, as it could lead to misunderstandings or increased tension.
Express Your Feelings: Be honest with your husband about how his actions make you feel. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, "I feel hurt and disrespected when you put your hand on my arm to signal me to stop talking."
Listen to His Perspective: Give your husband a chance to share his side of the story. Be open to understanding his intentions and feelings behind the action.
Discuss Boundaries: Talk about the importance of mutual respect and the need for open communication between you as a couple. Set boundaries for how you would like to be treated in social situations.
Find Alternative Ways to Communicate: Discuss alternative ways to handle situations where he wants you to stop talking. He can use non-verbal cues that are less intrusive or communicate with you discreetly using words.
Seek Professional Help: If you find it challenging to communicate effectively or if the issue persists, consider seeking the help of a couples' counselor or therapist. A professional can help facilitate communication and provide guidance on resolving conflicts.
Address Underlying Issues: Sometimes, actions like these can be a symptom of underlying issues in the relationship. If this behavior is part of a broader pattern of disrespect or control, it may be important to address those deeper concerns.
Reaffirm Your Love and Support: Remind each other of your love and commitment to the relationship. Reinforce the idea that you both want to create a supportive and respectful environment for one another.
Remember, open and honest communication is key to resolving any relationship issue. Approach the conversation with empathy and a willingness to work together on finding a solution that respects both of your feelings and needs.