I'm sorry to hear that you're facing such a challenging situation. Coping with the responsibilities of caring for infant twins can already be demanding, and dealing with issues in the marriage can add further stress. It's essential to approach this situation with open communication and understanding.
Here are some steps you can consider taking to address the situation:
Honest Conversation: Have an open and honest conversation with your husband about your concerns and feelings. Make sure to choose a time when both of you can talk calmly and without distractions. Express your worries about his friend's influence and how it's affecting your trust in the relationship.
Active Listening: Listen to your husband's perspective as well. Understand his reasons for wanting to continue going to bars with his friend. It's essential to create a safe space for both of you to express your thoughts and emotions without judgment.
Focus on Feelings: Avoid placing blame or making accusations. Instead, focus on how his actions make you feel. Share your emotions and how his actions are impacting your trust and the marriage.
Boundaries: Discuss setting boundaries that both of you are comfortable with regarding socializing with this friend. Compromise may be necessary, so find middle ground that ensures both your concerns are taken into account.
Seek Professional Help: If you find it challenging to resolve the issue on your own, consider seeking the help of a couples counselor or therapist. A professional can facilitate communication and provide guidance to work through the difficulties.
Support System: Lean on your support system during this time. Reach out to family, friends, or a support group to share your feelings and get advice from those who care about you.
Reevaluate Your Relationship: It's crucial to take a step back and reflect on the overall health of your relationship. Consider whether there are other underlying issues that need addressing and if the relationship is built on trust, respect, and shared values.
Remember, each relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. The most important thing is to prioritize open communication and respect for each other's feelings. If both partners are willing to work together, there is a higher chance of finding a resolution that strengthens the marriage. However, if you find that the issues persist and your trust continues to be eroded, you may need to consider seeking further advice or contemplating professional help to make the best decision for your well-being and the well-being of your children.