Discovering that your best friend went behind your back and started dating someone you had a friends-with-benefits (FWB) relationship with can be a challenging and hurtful situation. Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Take time to process your feelings: It's essential to give yourself space and time to process the emotions you're experiencing. Feelings of betrayal, hurt, anger, and confusion are natural reactions to such a situation.
Communicate with your best friend: Once you feel calmer, consider having an open and honest conversation with your best friend. Express how their actions have affected you and listen to their perspective as well. Avoid blaming or accusing language but try to understand their motivations and feelings.
Evaluate the friendship: Reflect on the overall health and trustworthiness of your friendship. Consider whether this incident is part of a pattern or if it's a one-time mistake. Assess if your friend genuinely regrets their actions and is willing to make amends.
Set boundaries: Determine what boundaries are important to you moving forward. This might involve discussing how you both will handle relationships with people you have been involved with in the past or establishing guidelines for trust and respect within the friendship.
Address the FWB partner: If you feel comfortable, have a conversation with the person your best friend is now dating. Express your feelings honestly and assert your boundaries. It's crucial to communicate your feelings without attacking or blaming them.
Consider your own feelings: Assess your emotions about the FWB situation and your feelings toward your best friend. Are you genuinely upset about the relationship itself, or is it more about feeling betrayed by your friend's actions? Understanding your emotions can help you decide how to proceed.
Seek support: Talk to other friends, family, or a counselor about the situation. Sharing your feelings with others can provide you with valuable perspectives and emotional support during this challenging time.
Decide on the future of the friendship: After considering all aspects of the situation, you may need to make a decision about the future of your friendship. If your best friend sincerely apologizes, shows remorse, and respects your boundaries, you might be able to rebuild trust. However, if the betrayal is too significant and the friendship is toxic, you may need to consider distancing yourself or ending the friendship altogether.
Ultimately, the best course of action depends on your unique situation and the dynamics of your friendship. Remember that it's essential to prioritize your well-being and surround yourself with people who value and respect you.