There could be several reasons why your boyfriend refers to his ex-wife's friends as "our friends." It's important to communicate openly with him to understand his perspective better. Here are some possible reasons:
Shared history: If your boyfriend was married to his ex-wife for a significant period, they might have formed close bonds with mutual friends. Even after the divorce, he may still consider these friends as part of his social circle.
Maintaining connections: Some individuals prefer to maintain friendly relationships with their ex-partner's friends, especially if there were no hard feelings between them after the divorce. It could be a way for him to stay connected to a group of people he has known for a long time.
Social convenience: In some cases, it might be simpler to refer to these friends as "our friends" to avoid confusion or lengthy explanations, especially if they are still part of his life and yours.
Respect for shared experiences: If your boyfriend and his ex-wife had significant life events or memories with these friends, he might view them as part of the shared history, even if the marriage has ended.
Including you in his life: By referring to these friends as "our friends," he might be trying to integrate you into his social circle and make you feel included in his life.
Unconscious habit: It's also possible that he has developed the habit of using the term "our friends" and hasn't given much thought to its implications.
It's essential to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and concerns. Share your perspective on the situation and ask him why he uses this phrasing. A healthy relationship is built on communication, trust, and understanding, so discussing your feelings calmly can lead to a better understanding of each other's viewpoints. Ultimately, finding common ground and mutual respect in matters like this is crucial for a strong and secure relationship.