It can be frustrating and confusing when a friend says they are busy but you see them seemingly doing nothing. Several reasons could explain this behavior:
Avoiding confrontation: Your friend may not want to engage in a particular activity or spend time with you, but they don't feel comfortable expressing this directly. Saying they are busy is an easy way for them to decline without having to provide further explanation.
Social anxiety: Some people experience social anxiety, which can make them hesitant to participate in certain activities or social interactions. They might use "being busy" as an excuse to avoid uncomfortable situations.
Time management issues: Your friend might genuinely struggle with time management and prioritize other activities over spending time with you. They might not be intentionally trying to deceive you; they genuinely feel busy because they have difficulty managing their schedule efficiently.
Feeling overwhelmed: Your friend might have a lot on their plate, even if it doesn't appear that way from the outside. They may be dealing with personal issues, stress, or responsibilities that you are not aware of.
Uninterested in the activity: Your friend might not be interested in the specific activity you are suggesting or want to do something else instead. Instead of declining outright, they say they are busy to avoid hurting your feelings.
Seeking space or alone time: Sometimes, people need space and alone time to recharge. Even if they appear to be doing nothing, they might need time for themselves and might not be in the right emotional space to socialize.
Fear of commitment: Your friend might be hesitant to commit to plans in advance, fearing that they might have other unexpected obligations or simply not feel like doing the activity when the time comes.
Miscommunication or misunderstanding: There might be a miscommunication between you and your friend. They might genuinely be busy with something you're not aware of, or they might have intended to decline your invitation politely.
If this behavior becomes a pattern or significantly impacts your friendship, it might be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your friend. Ask them how they genuinely feel about spending time together and express your concerns about the inconsistency between what they say and what you observe. Good communication can help clear up misunderstandings and strengthen your friendship. However, remember to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding, as there might be more to their situation than meets the eye.