I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing this situation. It's essential to address any behavior that is hurtful or disrespectful in a relationship. Here are some steps to consider:
Communicate your feelings: Find a calm and private moment to talk to your boyfriend about how his behavior makes you feel. Be honest and open about the impact his actions have on you and express your concerns.
Choose the right time and place: Pick a time when both of you can have an uninterrupted and focused conversation. Avoid discussing sensitive topics in front of others or during heated moments.
Use "I" statements: Frame your concerns using "I" statements to express your feelings without sounding accusatory. For example, say, "I feel hurt when you say mean things to me in front of others" instead of "You're always mean to me."
Listen to his perspective: Give him an opportunity to explain his behavior. Sometimes people may not be fully aware of how their actions are affecting others.
Set boundaries: Clearly communicate what behavior is unacceptable to you and establish boundaries for how you expect to be treated.
Evaluate his response: Pay attention to how he responds to your concerns. Is he apologetic and willing to change, or does he dismiss your feelings? How he reacts can be telling about his respect for your emotions.
Observe his behavior: After the conversation, observe whether there is any positive change in his behavior. Actions speak louder than words, and consistent respectful behavior is crucial.
Seek support: Talk to friends or family about your feelings and seek their advice. Sometimes an outside perspective can be helpful.
Consider professional help: If the behavior continues or escalates, you may want to consider couples counseling or individual therapy. A professional can help both of you explore the underlying issues and work towards healthier communication and behavior.
Prioritize your well-being: Remember that your emotional well-being is essential. If the behavior persists and makes you unhappy, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship and consider whether it's a healthy and supportive one for you.
It's important to address issues like this in a relationship as early as possible. Healthy relationships are built on respect, trust, and open communication. If your boyfriend truly cares about you, he should be willing to listen to your feelings and work towards treating you with kindness and respect, both in private and in front of others.