Choosing friends who do not have our back, despite what they may say, can be a complex and sometimes unfortunate aspect of human relationships. There could be several reasons why people find themselves in such situations:
Initial positive impressions: Sometimes, we form friendships based on initial positive interactions, shared interests, or common experiences. However, as the relationship progresses, we might realize that the friend doesn't genuinely support us during challenging times.
Misaligned values: Friends may claim to have our back, but if their values and priorities are significantly different from ours, they may not fully understand or empathize with our needs and struggles.
Fear of confrontation: Some individuals avoid conflicts and may say what they think others want to hear, even if they don't truly stand by their words. They might not have the courage to express their true feelings or offer support when it's needed.
Self-centeredness: Some people are inherently more focused on themselves and their own needs. While they may give the appearance of being supportive, they might not be emotionally available when we require genuine help.
Insecurity and jealousy: Insecure individuals might feel threatened by our successes or personal growth, leading them to be less supportive or even undermine our efforts.
Lack of empathy: Not everyone possesses a high level of empathy or emotional intelligence, which can hinder their ability to understand and support us during tough times.
Unawareness: Sometimes, people may not realize that their actions or words aren't supportive enough. They might genuinely think they are providing the necessary support even if it doesn't feel that way to us.
It's important to remember that friendships, like all relationships, can be dynamic and may evolve over time. If you find yourself in a friendship where you don't feel adequately supported, it's essential to assess whether the relationship is worth maintaining.
Healthy friendships should ideally be based on mutual respect, empathy, and support. If you consistently feel let down by a friend, it might be worth having an honest and open conversation with them about your feelings. If the friend is receptive and willing to work on the relationship, there may be room for positive change. However, if the friendship remains one-sided and unsupportive despite your efforts, it might be necessary to consider whether it's best to move on and focus on nurturing healthier connections with others who genuinely have your back.