I can offer some insights that might help you navigate this situation.
It's natural to feel uncomfortable or concerned about your partner's close friendship with someone they previously had feelings for. But it's important not to jump to conclusions without having a deeper understanding of the dynamics of their current relationship.
Here are some factors to consider:
Trust your partner: Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If your partner has been honest and open about their feelings and interactions with this female friend, it's essential to believe what they tell you unless there is evidence to the contrary.
Communication: Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings and concerns openly and honestly. Effective communication can help both of you understand each other's perspectives and work towards finding a solution that makes you feel more comfortable.
Boundaries: Healthy friendships, regardless of past feelings, should have appropriate boundaries. It's essential to discuss and agree on what you both consider acceptable behavior within your relationship and towards other friends.
Observe their interactions: Pay attention to how your boyfriend and his female friend behave around each other. Are there any actions or behaviors that seem overly intimate or crossing boundaries? Are they respectful of your relationship?
Self-assessment: Reflect on whether your feelings of discomfort might be stemming from past insecurities, jealousy, or trust issues. If so, consider working on building your self-confidence and trust in the relationship.
Get to know her: If you haven't already, try to get to know the female friend. Spending time with her in group settings or getting to know her better may help alleviate some of your concerns and give you a better sense of their friendship.
Seek advice or support: If you're struggling to handle your feelings, consider talking to a trusted friend, family member, or a relationship counselor. They can provide an outside perspective and offer guidance.
Ultimately, relationships require open communication and trust between partners. If you find that your concerns persist and negatively impact your relationship, it may be helpful to seek professional counseling to explore these feelings further and work towards a resolution together.