It's completely understandable that you may find it challenging to reciprocate the same level of friendship with your coworker after feeling hurt by his previous actions. Rebuilding trust and emotional connections can be difficult, especially when there has been a breach in the relationship.
Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Allow yourself time to heal: It's essential to acknowledge and process your feelings of hurt before making any decisions. Give yourself the space and time you need to heal from the previous experience.
Set boundaries: If your coworker is trying to be friends again, it's okay to set boundaries. You can be polite and professional at work without necessarily being close friends outside of work. Clearly define what you are comfortable with in the friendship and communicate your boundaries to your coworker if necessary.
Communicate honestly: If your coworker expresses an interest in renewing the friendship, consider having an open and honest conversation with him. Share your feelings and concerns about what happened in the past. Let him know that you were hurt, and that's why it's challenging for you to immediately go back to how things were.
Be cautious and observe: If you decide to give the friendship another chance, take things slowly and observe your coworker's behavior over time. See if he has genuinely changed and is making an effort to value and respect your friendship.
Focus on professional relationship: If you find it too difficult to reconnect on a personal level, focus on maintaining a professional relationship with your coworker. Be respectful, cooperative, and friendly in the workplace, but keep conversations limited to work-related topics.
Seek support: If the situation continues to bother you or affects your work environment, consider talking to a trusted friend, family member, or even a professional counselor. They can provide an outside perspective and support as you navigate this situation.
Trust your instincts: Trust your gut feelings about the situation. If you genuinely feel uncomfortable or unsafe renewing the friendship, it's okay to prioritize your emotional well-being and distance yourself from the coworker.
Remember that healing and rebuilding trust in a friendship take time. It's perfectly fine to take things at your own pace and protect your emotional well-being. Sometimes, friendships can change over time, and that's okay. The most important thing is to prioritize your happiness and well-being in any relationship.