Feeling confused or conflicted about enjoying a kiss from your close friend while being drunk is not uncommon. Several factors could contribute to these emotions:
Chemical Influence: Alcohol can lower inhibitions and alter your brain chemistry, leading to changes in judgment and emotions. It's possible that the effects of alcohol influenced your perception of the situation and heightened your feelings of enjoyment.
Emotional Connection: As a close friend, you likely have a strong emotional bond with this person. The comfort and familiarity of your friendship could have contributed to the enjoyment of the moment, even if you don't have romantic feelings for them.
Social Pressure: In social situations, especially while drinking, there might be pressure to go along with things or be more open to experiences than you would be otherwise. This could influence your response to the situation.
Curiosity: Experiencing something new or unexpected, like a kiss from a close friend, can trigger feelings of curiosity and excitement.
Ambiguity of Feelings: Emotions can be complex and contradictory at times. You might genuinely enjoy the affection and attention from your friend without necessarily having romantic feelings for them.
It's important to remember that feelings and emotions can be complicated, and they don't always fit into neat categories. It's okay to have mixed emotions and to take some time to process what happened. If you feel comfortable, you might consider discussing the situation with your friend when you're both sober to gain better clarity and understanding.
If you're unsure about your feelings or how to handle the situation, talking to a trusted friend or a professional counselor can provide helpful insights and support. Ultimately, understanding your emotions and communicating openly with your friend can help maintain the strength of your friendship.