Feeling like you're the only one making an effort in a friendship can be disheartening and can lead to emotional distress. Here are some signs that may indicate you are the only one trying in the friendship:
Initiation: You are consistently the one initiating contact, whether it's through calls, texts, or making plans to meet up. Your friend rarely takes the initiative to reach out to you first.
Availability: Your friend often seems busy or unavailable when you try to make plans, but you notice they make time for other people.
Cancelled plans: Your friend frequently cancels or reschedules plans at the last minute, without a valid reason or consideration for your time and effort.
One-sided conversations: When you do talk, the conversation seems to revolve mainly around your friend's life, with little interest in hearing about what's going on with you.
Lack of support: Your friend doesn't seem genuinely interested in your accomplishments, challenges, or feelings. They may not offer support or be there for you during tough times.
Neglecting your needs: Your friend dismisses your concerns or disregards your feelings when you try to discuss the dynamics of the friendship.
No reciprocation: You may find that you're always there for your friend when they need help or support, but they don't return the favor when you need them.
Being taken for granted: Your efforts and kindness may go unnoticed or unappreciated, leaving you feeling unvalued in the friendship.
Avoidance: Your friend seems to avoid spending time with you or finding excuses to keep their distance.
Feeling drained: You might feel emotionally drained or stressed after spending time with your friend, as if the interaction was one-sided and left you carrying the weight of the relationship.
If you recognize several of these signs in your friendship, it's essential to take a step back and evaluate the dynamics. Communicating your feelings and concerns with your friend might be a good first step. Honest and open communication is crucial in any relationship.
Express your feelings and let your friend know how their actions (or lack of actions) are affecting you. They might not be aware of the imbalance, and discussing it could lead to positive changes. However, be prepared for different outcomes; your friend may not be receptive or willing to change their behavior.
Ultimately, it's important to prioritize your well-being and surround yourself with people who value and respect you. If your efforts to address the situation don't lead to positive changes and the friendship remains one-sided and draining, it might be necessary to consider whether this friendship is healthy for you in the long run. Sometimes, letting go of toxic or one-sided relationships can be the healthiest choice for your emotional well-being.