Whether you would still consider someone a friend if they are not there to support you during the most difficult times in your life depends on various factors and the specific circumstances surrounding your relationship. Here are some considerations:
Consistency in the relationship: If your friend has been consistently supportive and caring in the past, but they are absent during one particular difficult period, it might be more understandable. People have their challenges and limitations too.
Communication and reasons: It's essential to communicate with your friend and understand why they weren't there for you. Perhaps they were facing their problems or were unaware of the severity of your situation. Honest communication can help clarify things.
Different support styles: People have different ways of expressing support. Some may not be good at emotional support but might help in practical ways. Others may be excellent listeners but struggle to provide solutions.
Boundaries and expectations: It's crucial to recognize that everyone has their boundaries and limitations. While close friends ideally provide support, expecting someone to be available 24/7 may be unrealistic.
Empathy and forgiveness: Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their perspective. If they genuinely care about you, they might feel remorseful for not being there and apologize once you communicate your feelings.
Long-term history: If your friend has consistently shown a lack of support and empathy throughout your friendship, it might be a sign of an unhealthy dynamic.
Mutual effort: Friendship is a two-way street. Evaluate whether you have also been there for your friend during their difficult times. If you've been supportive, it's reasonable to expect the same from them.
Growth and change: People change over time, and so do friendships. It's possible that your friendship may have evolved, and it's no longer as close or meaningful as it once was.
In the end, each situation is unique, and you must evaluate the context of your relationship with this person. If, after careful consideration, you find that the friendship is not fulfilling or supportive, it may be time to reevaluate its significance in your life. However, if the friendship is worth salvaging, consider having an open and honest conversation to address your feelings and work towards a better understanding and support system for each other.