It's possible that your friend is telling you that you're overthinking because they may not fully understand or appreciate the impact of their words on you. When someone puts you down, it can be hurtful and affect your self-esteem, confidence, and overall well-being. However, your friend might not be aware of the extent of their actions or the emotional toll it takes on you.
There are a few potential reasons why your friend might respond this way:
Lack of awareness: Your friend may not realize the negative impact of their words and actions on you. They might not be conscious of how their behavior affects you emotionally.
Defense mechanism: When confronted about their behavior, some people may resort to downplaying the issue or labeling it as overthinking to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Discomfort with confrontation: Your friend may feel uncomfortable discussing difficult topics, such as their behavior and its effects on you. By dismissing it as overthinking, they may try to avoid delving deeper into the issue.
Different perspectives: People have different communication styles and thresholds for what they consider hurtful. Your friend might genuinely believe that their comments are harmless teasing, while you perceive them as putting you down.
Fear of losing the friendship: Your friend may worry that acknowledging their behavior will lead to conflict or the potential end of your friendship. To maintain the status quo, they might downplay your concerns.
Regardless of the reason, it's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your friend about how their words make you feel. Share your feelings calmly and clearly, and try to avoid accusing or attacking them. Instead, focus on expressing your emotions and experiences. This way, your friend may be more likely to listen and understand the impact of their behavior.
If your friend continues to dismiss your concerns, it might be helpful to seek support from other friends or consider talking to a counselor or therapist about the situation. A neutral third party can provide guidance and help you navigate the complexities of the relationship.
Remember that healthy friendships involve mutual respect and understanding. If your friend is willing to listen and make changes, it could be an opportunity for growth in your friendship. However, if they persist in putting you down and disregarding your feelings, you may need to reevaluate the health of the relationship and consider setting boundaries to protect yourself emotionally.