If you are certain that your mom is your biological mother, and she is persistently trying to establish a relationship with you despite it making you uncomfortable, it's important to approach the situation with empathy and clear communication. Here are some steps you can consider:
Find the Right Time and Place: Choose a calm and private setting where you can have an uninterrupted conversation with your mom. This will help both of you feel more at ease to discuss sensitive topics.
Be Honest and Direct: Be clear and straightforward in expressing your feelings. Let your mom know that you appreciate her efforts, but her attempts to establish a relationship are making you uncomfortable.
Express Your Boundaries: Politely and firmly set boundaries for the level of contact and interaction you are comfortable with. It's essential to assert your needs while being respectful of her feelings as well.
Acknowledge Her Perspective: Recognize that your mom may have her reasons for seeking a relationship with you. Acknowledge her feelings and perspective, even if you don't share the same desire for a relationship.
Avoid Blame or Accusations: Focus on how her actions make you feel rather than blaming or accusing her. This will promote understanding and open communication.
Listen to Her Thoughts: Give her an opportunity to share her thoughts and feelings about the situation. Active listening is crucial to fostering a respectful conversation.
Reiterate Your Decision: If you are firm in your decision to limit or avoid contact, make it clear that your decision is final. Be prepared for potential emotional reactions and be compassionate in response.
Seek Support: If you find the conversation challenging, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or therapist, to help mediate the discussion.
Remember that this conversation may be emotional for both you and your mom, and it may take time for her to process and accept your boundaries. Be patient and give her space to process the information. It's important to prioritize your own emotional well-being while also being sensitive to your mom's feelings during this process.