It's important to note that I don't have access to specific information about your personal situation, so I can only provide general insights into why some individuals may exhibit certain behaviors. Blaming others and playing the victim can be complex behaviors influenced by various factors. Here are some possible reasons:
Defense Mechanism: Blaming others and playing the victim can be a defense mechanism to protect oneself from taking responsibility for their actions or to avoid facing their own flaws or mistakes.
Emotional Coping: Some individuals may use blame and victimhood as a way to cope with feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, or emotional pain.
Lack of Self-Awareness: Your mother might not be fully aware of how her behavior impacts others and how she tends to shift blame onto others.
Communication Issues: Difficulty in expressing emotions and needs effectively may lead to misplaced blame and adopting the role of a victim.
Unresolved Issues: Past experiences or unresolved conflicts can contribute to a person adopting a victim mentality as a way to garner sympathy or attention.
Need for Control: Blaming others could be an attempt to exert control over situations or relationships.
Learned Behavior: If someone grew up in an environment where blame-shifting and victimhood were common coping mechanisms, they might have adopted these behaviors as well.
Relationship Dynamics: The dynamics between you and your mother may contribute to this behavior. If there are underlying tensions or unresolved issues in your relationship, it might lead to a pattern of blaming and victimhood.
If you find that your mother's behavior is causing distress or affecting your relationship, consider the following steps:
Open Communication: Try to have an open and honest conversation with your mother about how her behavior makes you feel. Choose a calm and non-confrontational setting to express your concerns.
Empathy and Understanding: Try to understand her perspective and emotions as well. Avoid accusatory language and seek common ground for better communication.
Set Boundaries: Establish healthy boundaries to protect your emotional well-being and reduce the impact of her behavior on your life.
Seek Support: If necessary, seek support from other family members, friends, or a professional counselor to navigate these challenges.
Remember that changing behavior and relationship dynamics can take time, and it may require efforts from both parties. If the situation becomes too overwhelming, seeking professional help or family therapy can be beneficial in addressing underlying issues and promoting healthier communication and relationships.