I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult situation. Rebuilding trust and a positive relationship with your children after a divorce can be challenging, but it's not impossible. Here are some suggestions to help improve your relationship with your children:
Open and Honest Communication: Create a safe and open space for your children to express their feelings and concerns. Listen actively without interrupting or being defensive. Acknowledge their emotions and show empathy.
Avoid Blaming or Badmouthing: While it's natural to feel hurt and angry after the betrayal by your ex-husband, try to avoid badmouthing him in front of your children. This can put them in an uncomfortable position and create unnecessary tension.
Be Consistent and Reliable: Strive to be a reliable and consistent presence in your children's lives. Show up for them, keep your promises, and be there to support them emotionally.
Respect Their Feelings: It's essential to validate your children's feelings, even if they're difficult to hear. Let them know that their emotions are valid, and you understand their pain.
Professional Counseling: Consider family therapy or counseling to work through the issues together. A professional can provide a safe environment and help facilitate communication and understanding.
Shared Activities: Engage in activities that your children enjoy. Spend quality time together and find common interests that can strengthen your bond.
Show Unconditional Love: Reassure your children that your love for them is unconditional. Let them know that even though the family dynamic has changed, your love for them remains constant.
Patience and Time: Healing takes time, and relationships require patience to mend. Don't expect immediate changes. Be patient and allow your children the space they need to process their emotions.
Positive Co-Parenting: If possible, try to establish a positive co-parenting relationship with your ex-husband. When children see both parents getting along, it can reduce their stress and anxiety.
Seek Support for Yourself: Going through a divorce can be emotionally taxing. Seek support for yourself through friends, family, or therapy to help you cope with the challenges you're facing.
Remember that building or rebuilding a strong parent-child relationship takes effort from both sides. Be persistent and consistent in your efforts to reconnect with your children, and over time, trust and love can be rebuilt.