Having an adult conversation with parents who tend to bring up their child's achievements and brag about them can be challenging, but it's not impossible. Here are some tips to navigate such conversations:
Set boundaries: Before the conversation, establish personal boundaries in your mind about what topics you would like to discuss and what topics are off-limits. This will help you stay focused and prevent the conversation from derailing into a discussion about your achievements.
Express your feelings: During the conversation, if your parents start bragging about your accomplishments, gently interrupt and express how you feel about it. Use "I" statements to share your emotions without sounding accusatory. For example, you could say, "I appreciate your pride in my achievements, but I feel uncomfortable when they are brought up in every conversation."
Shift the focus: If you notice the conversation is veering toward bragging, try to redirect it to other topics that interest you or your parents. Ask about their day, their hobbies, or anything that you genuinely want to know more about.
Share other aspects of your life: Talk about other areas of your life that don't revolve around your achievements. Discuss your interests, experiences, and personal growth to show them that you are more than just your accomplishments.
Compliment their interests and achievements: Acknowledge and appreciate your parents' interests, talents, and accomplishments. This can help balance the conversation and show that you value them beyond your own achievements.
Be supportive of your parents: If they genuinely care about your success and achievements, show them that you appreciate their support and that you are committed to your own growth and happiness.
Ask about their opinions and experiences: Show interest in their thoughts and experiences. Ask for their advice or perspective on certain matters. This can shift the conversation away from solely focusing on you.
Be patient and understanding: Remember that your parents' behavior might stem from a place of love and pride. Be patient with them, and try to understand their intentions behind their actions.
Redirect the conversation: If the topic of your achievements comes up, find ways to redirect the conversation to other subjects. For example, you could say, "Speaking of achievements, did you see that movie we were talking about last time?"
Limit exposure to triggers: If you find that certain situations or environments consistently lead to bragging, try to limit your exposure to those triggers. Suggest alternative activities or places to meet where the conversation might naturally steer away from that topic.
It's essential to approach these conversations with empathy and understanding while also being assertive about your feelings and boundaries. Remember that change may not happen overnight, but consistent efforts can lead to more balanced and fulfilling interactions with your parents.