Question

My husband moved in with his dad and doesn't see his children for weeks but partying with his sister and dad most weekends. Are they enabling him to not provide or be a parent?

Answer 1

I can offer some general observations and possible considerations.

1. Independence and Responsibility: Moving in with his father and spending weekends partying with family might suggest a lack of responsibility and independence on your husband's part. It's essential for adults to take responsibility for their lives, including their role as parents.

2. Enabling Behavior: If your husband's family members are aware of his responsibilities as a parent but actively support or encourage his partying and neglect of parental duties, it could be considered enabling behavior. Enabling occurs when family members shield someone from the consequences of their actions, which can hinder personal growth and responsibility.

3. Communication: It's crucial to have open and honest communication with your husband about your concerns regarding his parenting involvement and lifestyle choices. Express how his actions are affecting the well-being of the children and your family as a whole.

4. Support System: Family support can be positive, but it should also encourage personal growth and responsible behavior. If your husband's family is truly supportive, they should encourage him to fulfill his parental duties and be present in his children's lives.

5. Child's Best Interests: Ultimately, decisions related to parenting should prioritize the best interests of the children. If your husband's actions are negatively impacting the children's well-being or emotional development, it may be necessary to take steps to protect their interests.

6. Seek Professional Help: If the situation doesn't improve despite efforts to communicate and address concerns, consider seeking professional help, such as family counseling or therapy. A neutral third party can help facilitate discussions and work towards a resolution.

7. Legal Considerations: Depending on the severity of the situation, you may need to consider legal options to ensure the well-being of your children. Consulting with a family lawyer can provide guidance on issues like custody arrangements and parental responsibilities.

Remember that every family situation is unique, and it's essential to approach these matters with empathy and understanding. If possible, try to involve a neutral and trusted family member or friend who can provide support and perspective during challenging times.