I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing this distressing situation. Dealing with such triggers can be challenging, especially when it involves your own family. Here are some tips to help you manage this situation:
Find a Safe Space: When you find yourself uncomfortable or triggered, try to retreat to a safe space where you can have some privacy and feel more at ease. This could be your room or another location where you can take a break from the situation.
Communicate Clearly: Have an honest and calm conversation with your mom and stepdad about your feelings and how their behavior affects you. Express that their public displays of affection are triggering for you due to past trauma, and you would appreciate it if they could be more considerate of your feelings.
Write a Letter: If talking face-to-face feels too challenging, consider writing a heartfelt letter expressing your emotions and concerns. This can give you the opportunity to articulate your thoughts more clearly.
Seek Support: Reach out to a close friend, family member, or a mental health professional who can offer understanding, empathy, and support. Talking to someone about your feelings can help you cope with the situation.
Create Boundaries: If the situation doesn't change despite your communication, establish personal boundaries that you can enforce to protect yourself emotionally. This might involve spending less time in common areas when they're together or finding activities outside the home to engage in.
Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote your well-being and provide comfort. This can include exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with supportive friends.
Therapy: If you haven't already, consider seeking professional therapy or counseling to help you process your past trauma and develop coping strategies for dealing with triggers.
Express Yourself Through Art: Some people find art, such as drawing, painting, or writing, to be therapeutic and cathartic. It can be a way to express and release emotions that are difficult to convey in other ways.
Educate Them: If your mom and stepdad are unaware of the impact their behavior has on you, you might want to provide them with information about trauma triggers and how it affects survivors.
Develop Coping Strategies: Work on developing coping strategies to deal with triggers in the moment. Deep breathing, grounding techniques, or focusing on a calming object can help you regain composure during distressing situations.
Remember, you have a right to feel safe and comfortable in your own home. Don't hesitate to seek support and take steps to protect your well-being. If your attempts to address the issue with your mom and stepdad are not successful, seeking help from a professional therapist can provide you with valuable guidance and support.