It's essential to approach this situation with empathy and open communication, as there could be various reasons for your new husband's behavior. Here are some possible explanations:
Emotional bond: Your husband and his adult daughter might have a close emotional bond, and he may feel comfortable seeking support or advice from her when facing challenges, including arguments with you.
Parental instincts: As a parent, it's natural to seek guidance or reassurance from someone close when dealing with difficult situations. His daughter might have been a significant source of support for him before you came into the picture, and that dynamic might continue.
Neutral ground: Running to a third party during conflicts can sometimes be seen as a way to gain a more objective perspective. He might want to talk to someone removed from the situation to gain insights and clarity.
Past experiences: Past experiences, particularly with previous relationships or marriages, could have shaped his behavior. If he previously relied on his daughter for emotional support, he may continue this pattern.
Avoidance: Some people try to avoid confrontation or tension, and reaching out to someone else during an argument could be his way of coping with difficult emotions.
Lack of conflict resolution skills: If your husband is not comfortable addressing conflicts directly or lacks effective communication skills, he might turn to his daughter as a way to navigate the situation.
Seek validation: He might be looking for validation or affirmation from his daughter, wanting someone to back his point of view during disagreements.
It's important to discuss your feelings with your husband in a non-confrontational manner. Be open and honest about how this dynamic makes you feel, and try to understand his perspective as well. Healthy communication is crucial in any relationship, and working together to find solutions and coping mechanisms for conflicts can lead to a stronger bond between you both. If the situation becomes challenging to handle on your own, couples counseling or family therapy could be beneficial in exploring these dynamics more deeply and finding productive ways to communicate and address conflicts as a family unit.