Dealing with critical comments from a family member, such as your daughter-in-law, can be hurtful and challenging. Here are some strategies to address the situation and encourage her to stop making cutting remarks:
Stay calm and composed: When faced with critical comments, try to remain calm and composed. Responding with anger or defensiveness might escalate the situation. Take a deep breath and try to respond in a controlled manner.
Address the issue privately: Find an appropriate time to talk to your daughter-in-law privately about her comments. Choose a comfortable and non-confrontational setting where you can discuss your feelings without distractions.
Use "I" statements: When communicating your feelings, use "I" statements to express how her comments make you feel. For example, say, "I feel hurt and uncomfortable when you make critical comments about my appearance."
Seek understanding: Ask your daughter-in-law if there is a specific reason she makes these comments. Try to understand her perspective and whether there are any underlying issues contributing to her behavior.
Set boundaries: Let her know that you find her comments hurtful and that you expect to be treated with respect. Establishing clear boundaries can help set the tone for future interactions.
Request support from your family: Talk to your son (her spouse) about the situation and how her comments are affecting you. Encourage him to have a conversation with her to address the issue and help find a resolution.
Focus on positive communication: Whenever you interact with her, try to emphasize positive and constructive communication. Compliment her on things you genuinely appreciate about her, and encourage her to do the same.
Lead by example: Show her how you would like to be treated by always treating her with kindness and respect, even if she continues to make critical remarks.
Limit exposure: If the situation doesn't improve despite your efforts, consider limiting the time you spend with her, especially in situations where her negative comments are likely to arise.
Seek family counseling: If the issue persists and is causing significant strain on your family dynamics, consider seeking the help of a family counselor or therapist. They can facilitate constructive communication and help address any underlying issues.
Remember that change may take time, and some individuals may be more resistant to change their behavior. It's crucial to prioritize your well-being and mental health while attempting to improve the relationship with your daughter-in-law.