Dealing with family dynamics and sensitive situations like this can be challenging. Here are some steps you might consider taking to address the situation:
Communication: Open and honest communication is crucial. Sit down with your mother-in-law and express your concerns calmly and respectfully. Let her know how her decision to sell the house without planning may impact you and your husband.
Offer help with planning: Since your mother-in-law seems to lack a clear plan, offer your assistance in the planning process. Help her explore various options, such as looking for a suitable house, calculating costs, and creating a timeline for the construction. This way, you can ensure her decisions are well-informed and thought out.
Set boundaries: It's essential to establish clear boundaries regarding the living arrangements. Express your concerns about her expectations of moving in with you and her overweight daughter, who has caused damage to your furniture. Be honest about how this situation may affect your household and marriage. If it's not feasible for them to move in with you, explain your reasons calmly.
Discuss financial responsibilities: If you are open to the idea of providing some financial support, discuss the extent to which you can contribute. However, be clear about your limitations and make sure you don't put your own financial stability at risk.
Encourage responsible behavior: Address the issue of damaged furniture caused by her daughter. Kindly but firmly suggest that steps should be taken to prevent such incidents in the future, such as helping with the cost of repairing or replacing the damaged items.
Involve other family members: If possible, involve other family members in the discussion to gain their perspectives and support. Sometimes, having more voices can help create a balanced and constructive conversation.
Seek professional advice: If the situation becomes overwhelming or contentious, consider seeking the advice of a family counselor or therapist. A neutral third party can help facilitate communication and find solutions that work for everyone involved.
Focus on empathy and understanding: Try to understand your mother-in-law's perspective and concerns. She may be going through a significant life change, and emotions can run high during such times. Showing empathy can help foster a more constructive conversation.
Remember that finding a resolution may take time, patience, and compromise from all parties involved. Be prepared for multiple discussions and keep the lines of communication open. Ultimately, your goal should be to find a solution that respects everyone's needs and boundaries.