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Being appointed as someone's power of attorney comes with significant responsibilities, and it is crucial to act in the best interests of the individual you are representing. In the case of your elderly mother with severe dementia, it's important to prioritize her well-being and ensure her financial needs are met.

Paying yourself and your sibling the $17,000 per year allowed by law as early inheritance without her knowledge or consent raises ethical concerns and may not be in her best interests for several reasons:

  1. Informed Consent: Due to her severe dementia, your mother may not have the capacity to understand and provide informed consent for such financial transactions. Taking money without her knowledge could be seen as taking advantage of her vulnerable state.

  2. Fiduciary Duty: As a power of attorney, you have a fiduciary duty to act in her best interests. This means making decisions that promote her well-being and protect her assets.

  3. Transparency: It is generally best to be transparent and open about financial decisions when acting as a power of attorney. Concealing actions from other family members could lead to conflicts and distrust.

  4. Legal Implications: Depending on your jurisdiction, using a power of attorney for personal gain without proper authorization may be illegal and could have serious legal consequences.

If you and your sibling are in need of financial assistance, it's essential to explore legal and ethical ways to obtain it. Consulting with a financial advisor, attorney, or an elder care professional can help you navigate the best course of action while adhering to your legal and ethical responsibilities.

In situations involving complex legal and ethical decisions, it's always best to seek professional advice to ensure compliance with the law and to act in the best interests of the person you are representing.

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