Deciding whether or not to believe an ex-boyfriend who suddenly contacts you after 20 years and declares his love and intent for marriage is a significant decision. It's essential to approach this situation with caution and thoughtfulness. Here are some points to consider before making any decisions:
Evaluate his intentions: Take some time to understand why he has reached out after all these years. Does he genuinely miss you and want to reconnect, or could there be other motivations, such as loneliness or a desire to escape from current problems? Understanding his motives is crucial in assessing the authenticity of his feelings.
Consider your own feelings: Reflect on your emotions towards him. Are there any lingering feelings from the past, or have you moved on entirely? Take an honest look at whether you could see yourself having a future with him, considering who he is now, not just who he was in the past.
Communication and trust: Open communication is essential at this stage. Have a candid conversation with him about your concerns, and ask him to explain his intentions and reasons for wanting to pursue a relationship now. Observe if his words and actions align and if he can earn your trust.
Time and consistency: Jumping into marriage right away after rekindling a relationship from the distant past might not be the best approach. Allow time for the relationship to develop and for you both to get to know each other again. Pay attention to how consistent and committed he is in pursuing the relationship.
Family and friends: Seek advice from people who know you well and have your best interests at heart. Share your situation with close friends or family members and ask for their insights. Sometimes, an outside perspective can be valuable.
Red flags: Be alert to any potential red flags or warning signs, such as manipulative behavior, controlling tendencies, or an unwillingness to answer important questions. If something doesn't feel right, trust your instincts.
Personal growth: Consider how both of you have changed and grown over the past 20 years. Evaluate if your values, goals, and lifestyles align or complement each other.
Take your time: Don't feel pressured to rush into a decision. Take all the time you need to gather information, process your feelings, and assess the situation objectively.
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make. Trusting someone who has been absent for a long time can be challenging, so take things slowly and prioritize your well-being and happiness above all else. If you have doubts or reservations, it's okay to take a step back and reevaluate the situation before committing to anything serious.