If your boyfriend is still in contact with his ex-girlfriend and is not willing to break up with her while dating you at the same time, it's important to consider your own feelings and boundaries in the situation. Here are some steps to consider:
Communicate openly: Have a calm and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and concerns. Express how his continued contact with his ex-girlfriend makes you feel and why you find it uncomfortable.
Understand his perspective: Listen to his side of the story and try to understand why he wants to maintain contact with his ex. It's essential to have an open dialogue and gain clarity on his intentions and feelings.
Evaluate your boundaries: Reflect on what you are comfortable with in a relationship. If you are not comfortable with your partner maintaining such close contact with an ex, it's crucial to communicate that clearly.
Assess his commitment: If your boyfriend is not willing to break up with his ex while dating you, it may indicate that he is not fully committed to the relationship. Consider whether this aligns with your expectations for the relationship and whether it's something you can accept.
Consider the nature of their relationship: Understand the nature of the relationship between your boyfriend and his ex. If they have a platonic and respectful friendship, it might be easier to accept. However, if there are unresolved feelings or emotional entanglements, it can be more complicated.
Trust your instincts: If you feel that something is not right or that you are being put in an unfair position, trust your instincts. Your emotional well-being should be a priority in any relationship.
Set boundaries: If you decide to continue the relationship, set clear boundaries regarding communication with ex-partners. Make sure both of you are on the same page about what is acceptable.
Focus on your needs: Take some time to think about what you need and want in a relationship. If your current situation is causing you significant distress or unhappiness, it may be worth considering if this relationship is right for you.
Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings and the situation. Having outside perspectives can help you gain clarity and make decisions that are in your best interest.
Remember, every relationship is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer. It's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and make choices that align with your values and needs. If your boyfriend's actions consistently make you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, it may be worth reassessing the relationship and considering if it's healthy and fulfilling for you.