It's not uncommon for individuals with narcissistic traits to manipulate and exploit new partners, often referred to as the "new supply," in various ways. One of these tactics is to make promises or plans that were once significant to their previous partners, as it can serve multiple purposes for the narcissist:
Idealization and love bombing: Narcissists are known for love bombing their new partners, which involves showering them with excessive affection, attention, and grand gestures. By promising to fulfill a shared plan from a past relationship, they might create an illusion of a deep connection and understanding between them.
Mirroring and manipulation: Narcissists are skilled at mirroring the interests, desires, and plans of their current partners to make them feel understood and valued. By adopting a past plan that was meaningful to you, the narcissist attempts to create a false sense of intimacy with the new supply.
Validation and control: By using a shared plan with the new partner, the narcissist might validate their partner's desires and emotions, making them feel special and understood. This can be a way for the narcissist to control and manipulate the new supply emotionally.
Instilling a sense of competition: Narcissists enjoy creating competition between their current and former partners. By suggesting the same plan they had with you to the new supply, they may try to evoke jealousy or insecurity in you or seek to prove to themselves and others that they are desirable and can easily replace partners.
Lack of originality: Narcissists often lack a strong sense of self and authenticity. They may borrow ideas, plans, and even personality traits from others as a way to construct their identity.
It's essential to recognize that a narcissist's behavior is driven by their own internal insecurities, need for validation, and a desire to maintain control over others. If you find yourself in this situation, it's crucial to focus on your own healing and well-being. Understanding the manipulative nature of narcissists can help you disentangle yourself emotionally and move forward in a healthier direction.
If you are currently in a relationship with a narcissistic individual, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with narcissistic abuse. They can provide valuable guidance and help you establish healthy boundaries and coping strategies. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and genuine care.