Handling the mention of an ex-wife in an obituary when there are children and a longtime girlfriend involved can be a sensitive matter. The key is to be respectful of everyone's feelings and relationships while acknowledging the deceased's family dynamics. Here are some general guidelines to consider:
Focus on the deceased: The primary purpose of an obituary is to honor and remember the person who has passed away. Keep the focus on their life, achievements, and the impact they had on others.
Use appropriate language: Choose words that are respectful and sensitive to the feelings of all parties involved. Avoid anything that might be seen as inflammatory or offensive.
Mention the children: If the deceased had children with their ex-wife, it's appropriate to mention them as survivors in the obituary. For example, you can list their names and any other relevant information (e.g., grandchildren).
Acknowledge the longtime girlfriend: If the deceased had a significant relationship with a longtime girlfriend at the time of their passing, you can consider mentioning her in the obituary as well. Use language that acknowledges her role in their life without undermining the importance of other family members.
Consult with family members: It's a good idea to consult with immediate family members, including the children, about how they feel the obituary should be written. This ensures that everyone's perspectives and feelings are taken into account.
Consider separate sections: If it seems appropriate, you might consider having separate sections in the obituary to acknowledge different family relationships. For example, you could have one section for immediate family (children and grandchildren) and another section for extended family and friends, including the longtime girlfriend.
Be mindful of privacy: Respect the privacy of all individuals mentioned in the obituary. If anyone prefers not to be mentioned by name, it's important to honor their wishes.
Seek professional guidance: If you're uncertain about how to handle the obituary in a delicate situation like this, consider seeking advice from a professional obituary writer or a funeral director who has experience in handling complex family dynamics.
Remember, the goal of the obituary is to pay tribute to the deceased and provide essential information for friends and loved ones. Being respectful and compassionate in your approach will help create an obituary that honors the person's life while being considerate of the feelings of all those involved.