+27 votes
in Ex Boyfriends and Ex Girlfriends by (7.9k points)
edited by

Your answer

Your name to display (optional):
Privacy: Your email address will only be used for sending these notifications.
+3 votes
by (6.6k points)

It's not uncommon to have conflicting emotions and thoughts when dealing with a narcissistic ex-partner. Even though you may logically know that the relationship was not healthy and they were not good for you, emotional attachments can be difficult to break. There are several reasons why you might still miss your narcissistic ex and have dreams about her:

  1. Trauma bonding: Narcissists often use manipulation and emotional abuse to create a strong bond with their victims. This bond can be challenging to break, as you may have become conditioned to seek their validation and approval.

  2. Familiarity and habit: When you spend a significant amount of time with someone, they become a significant part of your routine and daily life. Even though the relationship was toxic, your mind might still be accustomed to their presence.

  3. Idealization and devaluation cycles: Narcissists often idealize their partners at the beginning of a relationship, showering them with attention and affection. During the devaluation phase, they become emotionally distant or abusive. This cycle can create a longing for the initial positive experience.

  4. Fear of loneliness or abandonment: The fear of being alone or the fear of starting over with someone new can make you miss your ex, even if they were toxic.

Getting your ex out of your head and healing from a toxic relationship takes time and effort. Here are some steps to help you move on:

  1. No contact: Cut off all contact with your ex. This includes blocking them on social media and deleting their contact information. Avoid the temptation to reach out, as it will only prolong the healing process.

  2. Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings and experiences. Having a support system can provide valuable insights and help you process your emotions.

  3. Focus on self-care: Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself. Exercise, hobbies, meditation, and spending time with loved ones can help improve your mood and overall well-being.

  4. Set boundaries: Recognize the red flags of toxic behavior and remind yourself of the reasons why the relationship was harmful. Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from getting back into a toxic situation.

  5. Challenge your thoughts: When you find yourself reminiscing about the good times with your ex, try to remember the negative aspects of the relationship. Remind yourself that your feelings are valid, but they are not a reliable indicator of what's best for you.

  6. Professional help: If you find it challenging to cope with your emotions or break free from the attachment, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and relationships.

Remember that healing from a toxic relationship is a process, and it's normal to have setbacks along the way. Be patient with yourself and give yourself the time and space needed to recover and build a healthier future.

Welcome to Mindwellnessforum where you can ask questions about reationships and mental health
...