It's completely understandable to still think of your ex and wonder how they're doing, especially if the breakup is relatively recent. However, whether or not it's okay to text him depends on a few factors and your emotional state. Here are some things to consider before reaching out:
1. Your Emotional Well-Being: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and emotional state. Are you in a good place emotionally to handle whatever response he might give? If you think it might reopen old wounds or cause unnecessary pain, it might be best to wait until you feel more emotionally stable.
2. Your Intentions: Be honest with yourself about your intentions for reaching out. Are you genuinely curious about his well-being, or are you hoping for a reconciliation or seeking closure? Make sure your intentions are clear to yourself, so you don't end up disappointed or hurt if he responds differently than you expect.
3. Respect for Boundaries: Consider the nature of your breakup and the boundaries you've established since then. If there was no agreement to stay in touch or if you both needed space after the breakup, it's essential to respect those boundaries.
4. Potential Impact on Healing: Think about whether contacting him would help or hinder your healing process. Sometimes, maintaining no contact can be beneficial for personal growth and moving on.
5. The Possibility of Mixed Signals: Sending a friendly text might be interpreted as a sign of interest in getting back together, especially if the breakup is relatively recent. This could create confusion for both of you.
6. Time and Space: Four months is still a relatively short period, and it might be better to give yourself and him more time and space before considering reconnecting.
If, after careful consideration, you feel that reaching out is the right thing to do, keep the message simple and friendly. Avoid diving into the details of the past relationship or discussing unresolved emotions right away. Remember that his response might vary, and it's essential to prepare yourself for any outcome.
If you're unsure or find it challenging to make a decision, consider discussing your feelings with a trusted friend or seeking guidance from a therapist. They can offer an outside perspective and help you make a choice that aligns with your well-being and personal growth.