Whether or not a situation calls for a divorce is subjective and depends on the dynamics and values of each individual relationship. The discovery that you still speak to your ex from over 10 years ago has apparently become a significant issue for your husband, and it's essential to understand his perspective and feelings on the matter.
Communication and trust are crucial elements of any relationship, and what might seem insignificant to one person could be deeply concerning to another. Your husband's reaction might be influenced by various factors, such as past experiences, insecurities, or his beliefs about boundaries in relationships.
If your husband has communicated that he feels hurt, betrayed, or insecure about your continued communication with your ex, it's essential to have an open and honest conversation about the situation. Try to understand his concerns and share your perspective as well. Sometimes, clarifying intentions and discussing boundaries can help address the issue and rebuild trust.
In some cases, couples facing challenges like this find it helpful to seek the guidance of a professional counselor or therapist. A neutral third party can assist in facilitating communication and understanding between both partners and offer tools to work through issues.
Ultimately, whether the situation warrants a divorce or not is a decision for both you and your husband to make together. It's crucial to consider the overall health and history of your relationship, as well as how willing both of you are to work on the issues at hand.
Remember, every relationship is unique, and what might work for one couple may not work for another. It's important to approach the situation with empathy and a willingness to find a resolution that benefits both parties.