I'm sorry to hear that you and your son are going through such a difficult situation. It's not uncommon for breakups and divorces to be emotionally challenging, especially when children are involved.
There can be several reasons why your ex might have disappeared after creating feelings of hatred in your 8-year-old son towards you:
Guilt or shame: Your ex might feel guilty or ashamed about their actions and may not know how to confront the situation or repair the damage they caused.
Avoidance of responsibility: They might not want to face the consequences of their actions and may choose to disappear to avoid dealing with the aftermath.
Fear of confrontation: Confronting the situation and facing the anger or disappointment of your son and the potential consequences of their actions may be overwhelming for your ex.
Emotional immaturity: Your ex might lack emotional maturity and coping skills to handle the situation in a constructive manner, leading them to withdraw.
Personal issues: They may be going through their own personal struggles that make it difficult for them to handle the situation appropriately.
Manipulative behavior: In some cases, individuals may intentionally manipulate children's emotions to gain advantage or control in a situation.
It's important to prioritize your son's well-being and emotional health during this challenging time. Here are some steps you might consider:
Communication: If possible and safe, try to open lines of communication with your ex. Encourage them to talk honestly about the situation and its impact on your son.
Seek professional help: Consider involving a family therapist or counselor to help your son navigate his feelings and emotions. A therapist can also offer guidance on how to communicate with your ex constructively.
Focus on your relationship with your son: Continue being a supportive and loving parent. Let your actions and behavior speak for themselves, and avoid speaking negatively about your ex in front of your son.
Document the situation: Keep a record of any concerning behaviors or incidents involving your ex and your son. This documentation may be helpful if legal action or mediation becomes necessary in the future.
Legal assistance: If the situation escalates or becomes unmanageable, consult with a family lawyer to explore your options and protect your son's best interests.
Remember that every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Surround yourself and your son with a supportive network of friends and family to help you navigate this challenging time.