Keep in mind that without knowing the specific details of your situation, I can only provide general insights.
Seeking attention and control: Narcissists thrive on attention, and sending a hateful message may be an attempt to provoke a reaction from you. They might enjoy knowing that their words have affected you emotionally, giving them a sense of control over your feelings.
Emotional manipulation: Narcissists often use emotional manipulation to keep people engaged with them. By eliciting strong emotional responses, they may try to keep you invested in the relationship, even if it's a negative or toxic one.
Projection of their own feelings: Narcissists may project their own negative emotions onto others, including those they feel about themselves. In this case, your ex might be feeling hatred or frustration, and instead of dealing with those emotions, she's projecting them onto you.
Maintaining a sense of superiority: Narcissists often see themselves as superior and believe that others are inferior. Expressing hatred and disdain toward you might be a way for your ex to maintain her sense of superiority and self-importance.
Bitterness from the breakup: The end of a relationship can be challenging for anyone, but for a narcissist, it can be especially difficult to accept. If she perceives that she was "rejected" or "abandoned," she may lash out as a defense mechanism to protect her ego.
Power and dominance: Narcissists can derive pleasure from exerting power and dominance over others. Expressing hatred and wishing negative outcomes upon you may make her feel in control and superior.
Lack of empathy: Narcissists typically lack empathy and struggle to understand or care about the feelings of others. Sending hurtful messages may simply be a reflection of this lack of empathy.
It's essential to remember that narcissistic behavior is complex, and every individual is different. If you're dealing with a narcissistic ex-partner, it's crucial to prioritize your well-being and emotional health. Consider limiting or cutting off contact with her if possible and seeking support from friends, family, or a professional therapist to help you navigate the aftermath of the relationship.