It's essential to recognize that I don't have access to specific details about your personal situation or your ex-partner's intentions. However, I can provide some general insights into why a narcissistic ex-partner might reach out after a breakup and what refusing a friendship might mean.
Hoovering: Narcissists sometimes engage in a behavior called "hoovering," which refers to attempts to suck you back into the relationship or maintain control over you. They might reach out to see if you are still emotionally invested in them or to reassert their dominance.
Ego Boost: Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration. Reaching out to an ex-partner can be an attempt to receive validation, even if it's just as friends.
Regret or Loneliness: Although less common, some narcissists may genuinely miss the benefits they received from the relationship or feel lonely after the breakup, leading them to reach out.
Guilt or Manipulation: By acting calm and nice while claiming to forget the past fights, your ex-narcissist might try to make you feel guilty for holding grudges or not considering a friendship.
By refusing the friendship, you are setting a boundary and asserting your independence. This can be crucial when dealing with a narcissistic ex, as it shows that you are not easily manipulated and that you prioritize your emotional well-being. However, it's essential to stay cautious as narcissists might try different tactics to regain control or re-engage with you in the future.
Regarding whether this refusal will make him move on for good, it's hard to say for certain. Narcissistic individuals can react differently to rejection. Some might persistently pursue, while others might lose interest if they feel their attempts are futile. Nevertheless, it's crucial to remain firm in your decision and continue focusing on your own healing and growth. Set clear boundaries and limit contact with your ex to avoid potential emotional manipulation or harm.
Remember that the most important thing is to prioritize your well-being and surround yourself with supportive, understanding individuals who have your best interests at heart. If you find yourself struggling to cope with the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional who can help you navigate through this challenging process.