I can speculate on possible reasons why your ex might have been mad at you and called you disloyal for refusing to fix her issues.
Expectations: Your ex might have had certain expectations of you, believing that as a partner, you should be there to support and fix her problems. When you refused to do so, she might have felt let down and misunderstood, leading to feelings of anger and perceived disloyalty.
Dependency: If your ex was heavily dependent on you emotionally or in other aspects of her life, she may have relied on you to solve her issues. Your refusal to do so might have made her feel abandoned or unsupported, which could lead to anger and accusations of disloyalty.
Communication breakdown: It's possible that there was a breakdown in communication between you two. Maybe you didn't effectively express your reasons for not being able to fix her issues or perhaps she misunderstood your intentions. Miscommunication can easily lead to conflict and feelings of betrayal.
Emotional vulnerability: Your ex might have been going through a tough time emotionally, and when she turned to you for help, your refusal may have intensified her feelings of vulnerability and rejection.
Past experiences: There could be past experiences or unresolved issues in your relationship that influenced her reaction. If she has felt unsupported or hurt in the past, your refusal might have triggered those previous feelings.
Projection: In some cases, people project their own insecurities onto others. It's possible that your ex was feeling guilty about something and projected those feelings onto you, leading to accusations of disloyalty.
It's important to remember that every situation is unique, and only your ex can provide specific insight into her feelings and motivations. If you're open to it and think it might be helpful, consider having an open and honest conversation with her to better understand her perspective and express your own feelings as well. Communication is essential for resolving misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships.