It's completely normal to still have lingering feelings for an ex even after a significant amount of time has passed. However, it's essential to remember that those feelings don't necessarily mean that you should get back together or that the relationship was healthy for you.
Here are some steps to help you move forward and find happiness:
Reflect on the past: Take some time to think about the reasons why the relationship was awful and why he treated you badly. Understand that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness in any relationship.
Accept your emotions: It's okay to have feelings for your ex, but don't beat yourself up over it. Emotions are not always logical or straightforward. Allow yourself to feel what you feel without judgment.
Cut off contact: If you still have any contact with your ex, consider reducing or eliminating it. Continuing to communicate with him might hinder your ability to move on and create emotional space for yourself.
Focus on self-improvement: Use this time to work on yourself and your own happiness. Engage in activities that bring you joy, pursue hobbies, learn new things, and spend time with friends and family who support you.
Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or even a therapist about your feelings. Sometimes sharing your emotions can provide relief and help you gain a fresh perspective.
Start dating again (when you're ready): When you feel emotionally prepared, try dating again. It doesn't have to be anything serious initially, but getting out and meeting new people can help you regain confidence and show you that there are better matches out there for you.
Set boundaries: If you find yourself tempted to reconnect with your ex or if he tries to reach out to you, set clear boundaries to protect your emotional well-being.
Practice self-compassion: Understand that healing takes time, and it's okay to take things one step at a time. Be patient and kind to yourself during this process.
Consider professional help: If you find that your feelings for your ex are severely impacting your daily life and emotional well-being, seeking therapy or counseling might be beneficial.
Remember, moving on is a process, and it's okay to take the time you need to heal. Focus on building a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, and eventually, the feelings for your ex will fade away as you create new experiences and memories.