When an ex says, "you don't have anything without me," it can be a hurtful and manipulative statement. There are several possible reasons why someone might say this, even if the breakup was seemingly mutual:
Emotional manipulation: The ex may be trying to manipulate your emotions and make you feel dependent on them or create a sense of insecurity. By suggesting that you are nothing without them, they might be attempting to maintain control over the situation or elicit a reaction from you.
Ego boost: Some people say hurtful things to make themselves feel superior or to boost their own ego. By putting you down, they may be trying to validate their self-worth and maintain a sense of power over you.
Regret and defensiveness: Even in a mutual breakup, it's common for both parties to experience regret or second thoughts. Your ex might be trying to convince themselves (and possibly you) that they were the more important or valuable partner in the relationship.
Insecurity and fear: Saying hurtful things can sometimes be a defense mechanism. Your ex might be feeling insecure about the breakup and afraid of being alone or losing your connection entirely.
Unresolved emotions: Although the breakup was mutual, there could still be lingering emotions that your ex is struggling to process. Their comment might be an expression of their unresolved feelings.
Communication style: Some people use hurtful or aggressive language as their default communication style, especially during difficult and emotional situations like breakups.
Regardless of the reason, it's essential to remember that you are not defined by your past relationship or by what your ex says about you. Your worth and value as an individual are not dependent on any specific person. If you encounter such comments, it's important to focus on your own well-being and growth.
It may be helpful to set boundaries with your ex and limit contact if their words are affecting you negatively. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and consider seeking professional help if you find it challenging to cope with the aftermath of the breakup. Remember, healing takes time, but you have the strength to move forward and find happiness independently.