When an ex wants you back but not really, and they say they miss you but won't come over or talk to you, it can be a confusing and mixed signal. There are several possible explanations for this behavior:
Uncertainty and Mixed Feelings: Your ex may be experiencing conflicting emotions about the breakup and the possibility of getting back together. They might miss the comfort and familiarity of the relationship but still have reservations or doubts about rekindling it.
Fear of Rejection: They could be afraid of reaching out and facing rejection or a negative response from you. Past experiences or insecurities might be holding them back from taking action.
Testing the Waters: Some people might say they miss you or want you back as a way to gauge your reaction or see if you are still interested in them. It could be a means of maintaining a connection without fully committing.
Regret and Nostalgia: Your ex might genuinely miss certain aspects of the relationship or the good times you shared together. However, this doesn't necessarily mean they are ready or willing to rebuild the relationship.
Avoiding Confrontation: They may not want to confront the issues that led to the breakup or take responsibility for their actions. Avoiding direct communication could be a way to avoid uncomfortable conversations.
Seeing Other People: If your ex is dating or seeing other people, they might not want to come over or talk to you out of respect for their current partner or to avoid complicating their new relationship.
Personal Growth and Independence: Your ex might be focusing on personal growth and finding independence after the breakup. They might be hesitant to re-enter a relationship before feeling more confident in themselves.
Keeping You as Backup: In some cases, an ex might keep you in their life as a backup option in case their current endeavors don't work out. This is unfair to you and not a healthy basis for a renewed relationship.
Regardless of the reasons, it's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and set clear boundaries. If your ex's behavior is confusing or causing you distress, it's okay to communicate openly and ask for clarity. However, be cautious about getting back together with someone who is sending mixed signals or not demonstrating genuine commitment to making things work. A healthy and successful relationship requires open communication, trust, and a mutual desire to work through issues together. If your ex is not willing to engage in meaningful communication or take steps to address the problems that led to the breakup, it may be best to focus on your own healing and growth instead of dwelling on the possibility of reconciliation.