Dealing with a situation like this can be challenging and emotionally complex. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to inform the man's wife is up to you, but there are a few things to consider before making a choice:
Ethical considerations: On one hand, some people argue that informing the wife is the right thing to do, as she has the right to know if her partner is engaging in infidelity. This can be especially relevant if you believe she is being deceived and deserves to make informed decisions about her life.
Possible repercussions: On the other hand, you mentioned that she blamed you and sided with her husband when you confronted her about the situation earlier. Informing her again might not lead to the outcome you desire, and it could potentially cause more distress for everyone involved, including yourself.
Your well-being: It's essential to prioritize your well-being and emotional health. If contacting the wife again might lead to unnecessary drama, stress, or even danger, it may be best to distance yourself from the situation entirely.
Closure: You have already ended the relationship upon discovering his marital status. Consider if informing the wife would bring any closure for you or if it might stir up more emotions and turmoil.
Given these factors, here are two possible courses of action:
1. Maintain no contact: You already made the decision to end the relationship when you found out about his marriage. Consider continuing to keep your distance and avoiding communication with him. Focus on your own well-being and moving forward.
2. Anonymous communication: If you genuinely feel the need to let the wife know and have weighed the potential risks, you could consider sending her an anonymous message. This approach allows you to inform her without directly involving yourself in the situation.
Whatever you choose, it's crucial to prioritize your own emotional well-being and growth. If you find it challenging to navigate these feelings on your own, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide guidance and understanding.