It's important to remember that every individual and relationship is unique, so there may not be a definitive answer to why your ex-narcissist reached out after the breakup. However, there are some possible reasons:
Hoovering: Narcissists often engage in a manipulative tactic known as "hoovering," where they try to draw their former partners back into their lives after a breakup. This could be an attempt to regain control, seek validation, or maintain a sense of power over you.
Ego Boost: Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration. By reaching out and suggesting a friendship, they may be seeking an ego boost or trying to keep you as an option for future validation.
Fear of abandonment: Even narcissists can experience fear of abandonment. Your ex may be reaching out to ensure they still have a hold on you emotionally.
Guilt or loneliness: In some cases, a narcissist may feel guilty about their past behavior or may be experiencing loneliness, leading them to reach out as a way to alleviate these feelings.
Regarding your decision to refuse the friendship, it's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and make choices that are best for you. If your ex-narcissist is genuinely a narcissist, it's unlikely that your refusal will lead them to move on easily or quickly. Narcissists may have difficulty letting go and can become persistent in their efforts to regain control or re-establish contact.
In these situations, it's crucial to set firm boundaries and stick to them. Going no-contact can be an effective approach to break free from a narcissistic relationship. By blocking communication and avoiding any engagement, you make it clear that you're moving forward with your life and not willing to entertain manipulative attempts.
If you find it challenging to cope with the aftermath of a narcissistic relationship, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and help you heal from the emotional impact of the relationship. Remember, your emotional well-being and happiness are the top priorities, and you have the right to protect yourself from toxic influences.