It's not uncommon for someone to say they don't want a relationship anymore and still reach out afterward. There could be various reasons for this behavior, and it's essential to understand that people's emotions and actions can be complex and contradictory. Here are a few potential reasons for such behavior:
Uncertainty: Your ex-girlfriend might be going through a period of uncertainty and mixed feelings. Breaking up can be an emotionally charged decision, and she might be struggling with her emotions, leading her to reach out despite her initial statement.
Fear of loneliness or change: After a breakup, some individuals might fear being alone or miss the comfort and familiarity of the relationship. They might reach out as a way to fill the void temporarily.
Guilt or remorse: Your ex-girlfriend could be feeling guilty about the breakup or the way it was handled. By texting or calling, she might be trying to alleviate her guilt or make amends in some way.
Seeking closure: Sometimes, people reach out to seek closure or to get answers to unresolved questions about the breakup.
Hope for reconciliation: She might be hoping that continued communication will lead to getting back together, or she might be testing the waters to see if you are receptive to the idea.
Maintaining a connection: Some people find it difficult to completely let go of a relationship and might want to maintain a connection as friends or acquaintances.
Regardless of the reason, it's crucial to set clear boundaries and communicate openly with your ex-girlfriend about your feelings and what you need. If you find her constant communication confusing or emotionally challenging, it's okay to express your feelings and let her know that you need some space and time to heal. You can kindly but firmly tell her that constant contact is not helping you move on and that you need some distance.
Remember that every individual and relationship is unique, so these reasons may not fully explain your ex-girlfriend's behavior. If you find that the continued contact is causing you distress, it might be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide guidance during this challenging time. Focus on your well-being and take the necessary steps to heal and move forward in a way that feels right for you.