I cannot know or remember anything about your life or actions.
It's important to remember that pain and suffering are a part of the human experience, and people go through difficult times for various reasons. Sometimes, it may feel like we don't deserve the pain we experience, but life can be unpredictable and challenging.
If you're going through a tough time and struggling with pain, I encourage you to reach out to friends, family, or a mental health professional who can provide support and guidance. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, and there are resources available to help you cope with difficult emotions and situations.