I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing this situation in your relationship. Constantly facing arguments and feeling attacked when trying to express your feelings or problems can be emotionally challenging and detrimental to the relationship. There could be various reasons why your partner reacts this way, and understanding these reasons might help you navigate the situation:
Communication Issues: Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If either partner struggles with communication skills, it can lead to misunderstandings, defensiveness, and arguments.
Defensive Behavior: If your partner feels criticized or threatened when you express your feelings or problems, they might respond defensively as a way to protect themselves from perceived attacks.
Emotional Regulation: Some individuals have difficulty managing their emotions, leading to reactive and defensive behavior during conversations that touch on sensitive topics.
Past Trauma: Past experiences, especially unresolved emotional trauma, can influence how a person reacts to certain situations and conversations, making them more prone to defensive behavior.
Lack of Empathy: If your partner struggles to understand or empathize with your emotions, they might resort to attacking or dismissing your feelings rather than offering support.
Power Imbalance: In some relationships, there may be an underlying power imbalance where one partner feels more entitled or dominant, leading to dismissive or aggressive responses when the other expresses themselves.
Dealing with such issues can be challenging, but here are some steps you can consider taking:
Choose the Right Time: Find a suitable time and place for open communication when both of you can be calm and focused.
Use "I" Statements: Frame your feelings and concerns using "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory or critical.
Practice Active Listening: Encourage your partner to share their perspective, and actively listen to understand their feelings and thoughts.
Seek Professional Help: Consider couples counseling or therapy to address communication and emotional issues in a neutral and supportive environment.
Set Boundaries: If your partner's behavior becomes abusive or consistently disrespectful, it's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and consider seeking additional support or reassessing the relationship.
Remember that healthy relationships are built on respect, empathy, and effective communication. It's crucial to address these issues together if you want to foster a more supportive and understanding relationship. However, if your partner is unwilling to acknowledge their behavior and work towards positive change, it may be necessary to prioritize your own emotional well-being and make decisions that align with your needs and values.