It's important to note that every individual's experience with narcissistic abuse recovery can be unique, and what you're going through might be influenced by various factors. However, some survivors of narcissistic abuse may report similar feelings during their recovery process.
The stage you describe, where you feel like you've lost your memory of both the bad and good and are unable to experience happiness as you did before, could be related to various psychological defense mechanisms that people commonly employ when dealing with trauma and abuse. These defense mechanisms can include:
Dissociation: It's possible that you may be experiencing a form of dissociation, where your mind has created a protective barrier to cope with the overwhelming emotions and memories associated with the abuse. Dissociation can temporarily disconnect you from your feelings and memories as a way to manage the emotional pain.
Emotional Numbness: Emotional numbness is a common response to trauma, including narcissistic abuse. It's a way for the mind to shield itself from intense negative emotions.
Memory Suppression: Your mind may be suppressing memories of the abuse as a defense mechanism to protect you from reliving traumatic experiences.
Anhedonia: Anhedonia is the inability to experience pleasure or joy from activities or things that used to bring happiness. It is a common symptom of depression and can be linked to the aftermath of narcissistic abuse.
Recovery from narcissistic abuse can be a challenging and complex process. It involves healing from emotional and psychological wounds, rebuilding self-esteem, setting healthy boundaries, and developing a more balanced sense of self.
If you're experiencing these feelings, it's crucial to seek professional support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and abuse recovery. They can provide personalized guidance, help you process your emotions and memories in a safe environment, and assist you in developing coping strategies to move forward in your healing journey.
Remember that healing is possible, and with the right support, you can regain your emotional well-being and work towards rebuilding a fulfilling life. It's important to be patient with yourself and give yourself the time and space needed to heal at your own pace.